WHY I Became Insanely Positive

          I get asked this all the time online and in person: "How are you are so positive?!" with a tone of voice that suggests some combination of disbelief, slight irritation, and a little confusion. Sure, some people ask with a genuine questioning tone that yearns to know my "secret", but honestly the latter rarely happens. It's not until I "found positivity" that I had to internalize just how negative our world is and how subliminally conditions us to lean towards the negative end of the spectrum in our daily lives. Similarly I noticed, that many women bond almost solely over negative circumstances but rarely over positive ones, and a strange wall of negativity and skepticism is often built up towards the girl who seems simply happy. She is labeled as irritating or that she has it easy in some way--which may very well be true, but don't be so quick to judge. Many people assume that of me--and why shouldn't they? I do tend to look at the bright side...always, and steer clear of negative vibes like the plague. Still, its far from the truth. The ONLY reason I'm the person I am today is because I KNOW that life isn't all sunshine and rainbows, but you can learn to use positivty as a tool to transform your mind, your body and life...literally.

          If you didn't know my full story, you may think that I am a college girl with no experience with misfortune and I live my life in the fluffy clouds of gym days, Starbucks and Whole Foods trips. Well, no. Up until about three years ago, I was a mess, mentally and physically. I grew up being the "fat kid", obsessing over my body by the age of 10, spiraling into a restirvive eating disorder, developing severe anxiety and depression, then coming out somewhat healed only to be diagnosed with an autoimmune disease my sophomore year of high school that stripped me of friendships, going to school normally, and most of all, my identity and happiness.

          I was on the path to literal death (wish I was exaggerating) at the age of 16 brought to you by Gastroparesis, which by the way, nobody has ever heard of (when you don't have a disease people know about, they question you and often lack sympathy...sad but true) and positivity was not of my concern--I was broken...done. Why the hell or how the hell can one be positive when your life is in the dumps, or when there seems to be absolutely no hope?! What I was forced to learn is that real, genuine positivity does not come from everything going your way and gloating about how awesome your life is--thats called luck and ignorance to reality. Real positivity, the kind that you can feel radiating off a person, is developed through some serious personal development. It stands the test of misfortune and Monday mornings and goes deeper than feeling fulfilled on a really good day. It's an attitude and mantra that you use as your secret weapon against life's curveballs. Its essential and vital to success--in health, fitness, happiness, and all the other things built upon those essentials. Its what made me BalancednFit.

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15 going on 16, post- gastroparesis diagnosis. 88-89lbs,Frustrated 

In my case, you could say that a light switch went off one day. I was 89lbs (5'4), was told there were no real treatments for my condition, and the only people who truly understood and stook around during the turmoil was my incredible boyfriend of the time and my family. I forgot exactly what I was doing, but I do know I was at my lowest point, when I quite literally decided that I hated I was going to be positive despite my circumstances. It was either that, or sit in misery. And that day 4 years ago was my "start." 

          I am telling you now that making the decision to focus only on the good in my life turned my world upside down...or right side up... instantaneously. It was almost scary how easy it was to take control and just be grateful for the life I had at that very moment, despite the pain, despite the lack of a foreseeable future. I was no longer an unfortunate case...I was lucky and happy to be alive...

          Some call it the Law of Attraction, others call it Karma or God's will...whatever you believe in, you get what you put out. Similarly, relinquishing control of things you can't control is a necessary part of the positivity equation. I couldn't control my condition, I couldn't control the nausea or pain, but I COULD control what I watched, read, listened to, wore...blah blah, the list goes on. I didn't have the energy or time to give my focus to things that were negative in nature. The more grateful I became for things I had overlooked for years, the easier my days were. The less I allowed for frustration to flood my brain, the less frustration seemed to exist. Within days of this mental switch...repeat DAYS,  I happened upon a Youtube video made by a fellow Gastroparesis fighter who had been CURED via Chinese and natural medicine, an option neither me or my family had thought of. Long story short, that video was my godsend-- within a couple months I had taken her advice and given up all Western medicine (which hadn't helped one bit) and was being fully treated with herbs, acupuncture and a whole food, clean eating lifestyle plus physical activity. I was in a state of utter amazement as my body gained its ability to function again...something that was supposedly never supposed to happen. Food is powerful. Physical Activity is Powerful. Positivity is Powerful. 

***It makes so much sense, so my surprise in nature's ability to heal isn't really justified. But I suppose that we are conditioned to believe that drugs and and white coats are the only things in control of our own health and wellbeing. ****

          Within 2 months I was eating meals again, something I hadn't been able to do for 6 months...2 years later, I was living again...so normally that people couldn't believe I had an autoimmune condition. Graduating high school, looking at colleges, developing a passion...for health and wellness...I was doing all these things I wasn't supposed to do and an overwhelming sense of gratefulness is forever ingrained in me. Its as though shutting the door of negative thoughts opened the doors of good things, and once I was open to receiving them, they came.

          But of course my mindset shift wasn't a "magic bullet" to health and happiness...I wasn't cured overnight, nor was I happy every day of the journey, but that's not realistic or the goal. When you are sick and just fighting for health, you realize real quick what's bullsh*t and what's not. When you look at yourself as lucky to be alive, you don't feel the need to gossip about meaningless crap or dwell about something that happen last week or get mad over an incorrectly made Starbucks drink or whatever else. Nothing is that bad anymore.

Its that shift that can fuel #goalgetting. Once you stop paying attention to, honestly, meaningless crap, you have so much more time and energy for the things that MATTER to you. *Can you get fit and healthy? Sure you can and you deserve it! You are capable and negative noise inside your head can shove it!* The pivotal part of my mindset shift was that it just so happened to occur during the most trying time in my life--therefore its power was basically tattooed on me. My positive mindset made me a different person with a different approach to life. Lighter, happier, no longer up for any unnecceseary negative bullsh*t. Period. 

          Now what I hope to get across is that positivity is powerful beyond belief and you don't need to experience serious health problems to understand this--use my experience as proof that ANYONE can find real, genuine positivity in their life and use it to their advantage. Realize and internalize that you have so much. There's no reason to get irritated or bothered by the little things when you are better off than most people in this world. You only get one life--I learned that hard and fast. Why think you can't loose the weight if you know that actually, you can? Why think that healthy eating is difficult when so many people do it effortlessly everyday? Why allow yourself to feed into your own self-sabatoge? YOU DON'T HAVE TO! 

          Do I have bad days? OF COURSE. In fact, I embrace my emotions and have a good cry whenever things are overflowing inside (play some music and get in the feels and girrrrl, you're set). But instead of letting negative thoughts bring me further down, I let those emotions out...cry and let it go. It takes practice, but my little mantra: MOVE-NOURISH-RADIATE is my little reminder. It sums up my intentions and keeps me on track. Please-- if you  are stuck in a place where a positive mindset seems abstract and intangible, say the mantra to yourself. That's your first step...