Facing Your Insecurity
There is absolutely no shame in feelin insecure. I used to think that if I feel insecure then I should feel a deep sense of shame because we are told to be confident all the time. The shame, or maybe it’s embarrassment only resulted in me feeling even MORE insecure about myself and the negative loop continued for years.
I of course, like you, heard the talks of confidence and how to just "be" but never got a grip of how to actually feel that way authentically without pretending. How easy it is to say “just be confident” when you already ARE. I get it—it’s a fucking street fight with your mind.
For me, living with an eating disorder for years was the manifestation of many things, but insecurity was one of the roots that kept me tied to calories and anxiety behind closed doors. It kept me comparing and comparing and pretending and pretending with shame shackled to around my wrists & ankles.
Now, on the other side, I see social media sending so many messages that would give anyone with the slightest bit of insecurity (aka all of us) amo to compare, feel insecure, and developed resentment towards oneself or others. It’s scary to just allow it to happen day after day only to wind up waking up one day feeling depressed for “no reason.”
Well I’ve gone though the loop too many times before getting a grips in my own insecurities to not share how I managed those unproductive, self destructive feelings.
It starts with self reflection on the daily. THE DAILY. Self reflection as in thinking about yourself detached from the labels and words of others. It’s actually quite difficult to do if you haven’t done it before because you have to start defining yourself for what you WANT to be. This process KILLS feelings of insecurity because without old definitions of yourself that were comprised of bits and pieces of what other people thought you were, you are left with this pure, clean-slate version of you that is whole, complete and capable. You are NOT insecure because why should you be? Nobody can touch you if you are strong in who you are, no matter who that is! You are not striving to be this "perfect ideal" you--that person doesn’t exist. Who does exist is the person who is alive and breathing TODAY. You are already ideal so start feeling like it. But in order to do so you have to think these thoughts, image yourself in this state and CULTIVATE this person that you want to be...or rather who is already hiding inside an insecure shell 🐚.
Start thinking about all that^^^ every single day. It doesn’t have to be at the same time or in the same place, but if you have a random 5 minutes to “day dream” use it to cultivate your self confidence & build a new firery wall that is impenetrable. Make it dramatic. Make this cultivation a big deal for yourself, get fucking hyped because beating insecurity is like braking shackles that you thought were a part of you. They are not. There is no shame in having worn them, there is only shame in choosing to keep them. Start with daily reflections and you’ll be on the right track to breaking free ✨✨✨